I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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