Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
being pregnant is like rehab
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
