I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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