piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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