right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
