You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
