She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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