You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize