is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
