Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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