Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize