ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
