Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
