Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
as a side note pls kill me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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