I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
