Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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