his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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