There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
