some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
