wanna go halves on a baby?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The air was thick with penises
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
