I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
