i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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