Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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