Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
