Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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