She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The air taste purple.
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