So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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