Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
