I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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