People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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