you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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