coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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