In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
