The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
