just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
