He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
