Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Congratulations! We have a period
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