Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
another moral hangover. fuck.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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