So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
