Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A bitchslap is in order.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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