i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
