I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize