oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
