Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
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After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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