I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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