just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
