i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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