Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
