He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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