Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
