Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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