I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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