I wish I could punch you in the face.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
