I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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