I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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