Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
