Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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