The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
