Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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