Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
