vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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