got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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