Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
