What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
